Does the title sound familiar? Yes, if you are a music or movie lover, you're gonna find it easy to remember the OST (Original Sound Track) of "Music and Lyrics" movie, starring Drew Barrymore and Hugh Grant, the song is All I Wanna Do is Find a Way Back into Love. But no, I'm not gonna talk about music or movies. I'm gonna talk about something deeper and something that matters in this life.
When I looked in the mirror, I kept wondering, did the person in front of me remain the same, or getting better, or even getting worse, day by day? Did I still become the one who scared and worried, even her heart would skip a beat when she missed one prayer because of overslept? I know exactly the answer, yes, I am not the same little girl. I feel my heart now is black, full of sin.
I want to purrified my heart. It will affect my mind, my behaviour, my attitude, and my habbit. I wanna have those heart, mind, behaviour, and attitude of people living in Jannah (Paradise). I realize my life now is far far away from what I believe in, Islam, as a way of life. I do not practise it in my daily basis, just do the rituals (prayer, fasting, etc). I was into music, I was working in conventional banking (riba issue), my hijab was not properly covered, I was busy with worldly things.
Then I found this manhaj. Manhaj of salafus salih. It made me realise why I act that way in the past. Yeah, I did not understand this religion just like the way the companion understand it. I did not put their point of views, I did not walk a mile in their shoes. That's why I exactly have all these shubhat in my mind. Now I get it. Why this ummah are divided in 73. I want to be in this manhaj who has their way straight to Jannah, no need to be purrified in hellfire first, like the other 72. Wallahua'lam.
All I wanna do is find a way back to Sunnah, to Manhaj Salaf. I want to be happy in this manhaj. I want to be a better person day by day. I want to learn my religion deeper and deeper. I want to please Allah. All my good deeds is for the sake of my self. If I do something good, I do good for myself, if I do something bad, I do bad for myself as well. O Allah, please help me make it through. Aameen.
When I looked in the mirror, I kept wondering, did the person in front of me remain the same, or getting better, or even getting worse, day by day? Did I still become the one who scared and worried, even her heart would skip a beat when she missed one prayer because of overslept? I know exactly the answer, yes, I am not the same little girl. I feel my heart now is black, full of sin.
I want to purrified my heart. It will affect my mind, my behaviour, my attitude, and my habbit. I wanna have those heart, mind, behaviour, and attitude of people living in Jannah (Paradise). I realize my life now is far far away from what I believe in, Islam, as a way of life. I do not practise it in my daily basis, just do the rituals (prayer, fasting, etc). I was into music, I was working in conventional banking (riba issue), my hijab was not properly covered, I was busy with worldly things.
Then I found this manhaj. Manhaj of salafus salih. It made me realise why I act that way in the past. Yeah, I did not understand this religion just like the way the companion understand it. I did not put their point of views, I did not walk a mile in their shoes. That's why I exactly have all these shubhat in my mind. Now I get it. Why this ummah are divided in 73. I want to be in this manhaj who has their way straight to Jannah, no need to be purrified in hellfire first, like the other 72. Wallahua'lam.
All I wanna do is find a way back to Sunnah, to Manhaj Salaf. I want to be happy in this manhaj. I want to be a better person day by day. I want to learn my religion deeper and deeper. I want to please Allah. All my good deeds is for the sake of my self. If I do something good, I do good for myself, if I do something bad, I do bad for myself as well. O Allah, please help me make it through. Aameen.
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